"I cannot form habits. I can form routines where one tasks can remind me to do another, but it never comes effortlessly or without thought. But if one thing shifts. One task changes slightly, or they are done out of order, or the setting changes, then the routine is at complete risk of breakdown. I cannot just brush my teeth. I have to tell myself to go into the bathroom. Then tell myself to find my toothbrush and the toothpaste. To put toothpaste on my toothbrush. The cat knocks something off the counter in the kitchen. I put my toothbrush - with its "pea-sized" amount of toothpaste on top its bristles - by the sink and rush into the kitchen as my cat flees the scene of their crime. A cup was knocked over. I open the dishwasher and put it away. I notice the other dishes on the counter and start to put them away. My cat meows and I realize his crime was an act of protest over not receiving his breakfast so I feed him. I knock my shin against the open dishwasher door, cursing under my breath and my cat meows again, fearful I might forget he's dying of starvation. My day continues along this pattern. Triggers reminding me of tasks. And if there is no trigger for the task, the task is unknown. My toothbrush still sits by the sink."

- Kae

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